Sale + Jameson’s In Boston Leads To Bad Things
Somewhere, Melissa Leo is acting out today's title and it's so spot on you're not sure if you should applaud, or put your wallet in the front pocket. "I came straight from the packie because I heard...
View ArticleBiking Bumgarner Bail Out a Big Bummer
There's no denying that Madison Bumgarner works hard. Well, he plays even harder. So it should have come as no surprise when news broke that the San Francisco ace was placed on the disabled list after...
View ArticleFantasyDraft: Sooner or Latos, He’s Gonna Get Hit
Mat Latos has been on six different teams since 2015, DFA’d three times and some how is still pitching in the big leagues. He's actually been pitching pretty well in his couple starts this season,...
View ArticleLost Boy Corey Failed, Man!
Corey Kluber left yesterday's game with lower back discomfort, before giving up five earned in three innings to the Tigers. In every game, the Tigers look like John Jaso, just dreadful. I mean, you...
View ArticleSAGNOF Report: One Month Down, Steals On An Uptick
When I say uptick, I mean that with the slightest bit of tick that any tick can offer. But any positive in a stat that was headed for the extinct list like that Rhino on Tinder is a fantastic thing....
View ArticleFantasyDraft: I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This, Eddie
Aloha from Clearwater Beach, Florida. I will be relaxing at the beach in this 90-degree weather today. I promise, I’m not trying to rub it in. The weather is starting to warm up as we approach summer,...
View ArticleThings Looking Sonny For Bizarro Grey Albright
Okay, this is weird, but Sonny Gray and I are complete opposites. Sonny Gray is in Bay Area, and it's Grey Albright in Los Angeles. Weather you like it or not, that's weird! Pun noted too! Grey...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 9: Fishing For Trout Replacements
If you had to write a fill-in-the-blank to summarize fantasy baseball in 2016, it would look something like this: “________ hit 30 HRs in 2016, a career high. He will hit half that amount in 2017.”...
View ArticleVolquez No Hits DBacks, Roto Points>Scrabble Points!
Sometimes, baseball can be that game we all fell in love with *covers mouth so you can't hear number* years ago. Whether it's Paul O'Neil hitting a triple with an error to score a home run for a child...
View ArticleScooter Drives Ya, Ma, Motherf**kin’ Ha Out Of The Park
Scooter Gennett had the game of his life yesterday. Well, isn't he Vespecial? You say to me, "Unkie Grey, can I sit on your lap metaphorically and you tell me why Scooter hit so many homers?" Sure,...
View ArticleOne If By Land, Three If By Seager
Our Commissioner Manfred presses his intercom, "Please escort in the Guatemalan baseball stitchers." Manfred's secretary brings six men dressed in blanket ponchos and straw hats. Their leader steps...
View ArticleElvis Has Left The Building Twice
There is no truth to the rumor that Elvis Andrus stole his entire playing career from "Fats" Domingo, "Ivory" Roberto Kelly or Nate King Colbert. Elvis hits the covers off the ball better than Cam...
View ArticleSAGNOF Report: When The Hick Goes Down…
Y'all better be ready. (Gotta love some fantasy baseball puns that involve some Cypress Hill.) Well, even if you didn't like it, I did. So there's that. So A.A. Ron Hicks hit the DL with an oblique...
View ArticleFantasyDraft: Angels Currently in Blah Blah Land
Sometimes you make a pitch because of the pitcher's work. Other times, you make it based on the work of the team he's facing. Lukewarm suggestion, Adalberto Mejia, come on down! Really, I'm not...
View ArticleSafari So Good For Nat Gio
Allow me to paint a visual metaphor. A vetaphor. The entire league's pitching is cornered on the grounds of a wildlife preserve. A tiger, we'll call him Blister, stalks towards the league's...
View ArticleLeBron Ends Cleveland Shutouts, Kluber Throws ‘Em
Evidently, Corey Kluber made some sort of promise to the city of Cleveland too, and not just to Kl-Uber Drew Carey home any time he sees him drunk-wandering in downtown Cleveland. Yesterday, Kluber...
View ArticleSawx Turn To The O.G. Koji As Kimbrel’s All-Star Breaks Bad
*nervous finger tap* How many days without baseball? So, I can close my fantasy baseball team browser window without missing anything? Okay. *throws computer out window* What? Was there another...
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Ohhhhhhh, What’s That Snell?! …And The Top 100 Starting Pitchers, Week 18
I was all about some of that young prospect snell early in the season, ranking Blake Snell within my top-75 preseason ranks. He destroyed the Minors in 2015, then was a little iffy when he hit the...
View ArticleJankies! We’ve Solved The Case Of The Stolen Bases
In 1972, a young Polish man by the name of Stanley "Stash" Petrosky burst on the scene with the Pirates organization and stole 87 bases while pinch-running for the Single-A Long John Silvers. No...
View ArticleDraftKings: Discounted Zack and a Coors Stack
Last week I laid out some Men In Black references for you fine readers. Always one to double down whenever possible, this week, we need to break out our neuralyzers and forget all about Zack Greinke’s...
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